Four Ways to Be a Better Human

Each of us is working on our goals and striving to achieve our own dreams. But no greater purpose can be found than trying to become a better human. True happiness lies in relationships and connections. Being a better person can strengthen and improve those connections… with others, with the world, and with ourselves.

No matter what your goal is or where you are on the path to achieving it, we encourage you to review the following four ideas for becoming a better human. We can all benefit from improving ourselves. And by extension, the world will benefit, too.

Listen more and talk less

Did you know the average person speaks more than 15,000 words a day? That’s a lot. And while 55% of time spent communicating is devoted to listening, most people only remember about 17 to 25% of the things they hear. These statistics prove we all have some room for improvement. And being a thoughtful listener can strengthen our relationships and make us better people overall.

Effective listening requires us to do more than just open our ears. It requires us to actively focus on what the speaker is saying. When another person is speaking, our mind should be engaged in listening for meaning and understanding and not on what we want to say next. This requires practice, but the result is that we are more empathetic and we can gain more knowledge. It also increases the trust within a relationship when the other person knows that they can count on you to not only hear them, but to see and understand them in a way that helps them to feel valued and acknowledged.

Learn people’s names and use them

One of the best ways to show other people you care is to take the time to learn and use names. When you study a new subject or need to recall information, it takes time to learn the material. This is also the case with learning names. But like studying for a test and recalling the facts later, memorizing names takes effort.

When you meet someone new, ask them to repeat their name more than once or even have them spell it. Over the course of your conversation with them, say the name back several times. When you end the conversation and say goodbye, use the name again. While they are speaking, pay attention to unique features about them and repeat their name again in your mind. Consider writing the name down after your interaction and reviewing it later. The more you say, speak, spell, see a name, the easier it is to recall it later. When you run into that person again, hopefully you will be able to match the face and the name. But if you can’t, don’t worry. Simply ask again and keep trying.

One more tip… upon meeting someone new, never declare you are bad with names or suggest that you probably won’t remember their name later. This is akin to saying you don’t care enough to try and can be off-putting. Just do your best and practice this skill. It will get better with time and it will show people that you are truly interested in knowing and interacting with them.

Assume the best

We can sometimes be quick to assume the worst about people and that the worst intentions are meant when we’ve been hurt or offended. But this isn’t fair. And it’s not often the case. Most people are just trying to get through their day. They’re not always out to get us.

When you find yourself bristling at the behavior of someone else, stop to consider that it may not be about you and it may not be intentional. It’s probably about them. And they probably need a little extra kindness and grace. Extend that if you can, and then move on. You would hope someone would do the same for you.

Think about others first

When interacting with other people, we sometimes find ourselves absorbed in how we feel, how we come across, what they might think be thinking about us. Instead, we can look upon these opportunities for interaction with others using a different lens—more them and less us. For example, we can focus on how they feel and how we help to boost their mood and energy during the interaction. As mentioned before, we can talk less and ask questions about the other person, then truly listen for understanding and connection.

 

We are not all expected to become perfect or better overnight. It is, however, reasonable to expect that we become even a little bit better every single day. In doing so, we will find that improving ourselves improves the people around us and it lights the world.

May your today be at least a little bit better than your yesterday. And may your tomorrow be even better than today.

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