At the end of the classic tale Charlotte’s Web, by E.B. White, Wilbur the pig realizes that his beautiful spider friend Charlotte has given her life to help save his. And he asks her, “Why did you do all this for me?” Then he continues, “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.”

It is in Charlotte’s response that we see her deep love for Wilbur and the beautiful nature of friendship.

“You have been my friend,” replies Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing.”

Synonyms for friendship include association, bond, tie, union, link, and the definition is a state of mutual support and trust. At the very heart of friendship lies a deep connection that motivates each of us to love, to serve, and to help.

Scientists have found that not having close friends can be just as detrimental to your health as smoking or obesity. On the flip side, having good friends can reduce stress, protect bodies from illness, help us develop empathy, and chase away depression.

Even animals have been proven to maintain friendship, with many types of animals capable of forming friendships across species, like Charlotte and Wilbur.

One study suggests that over the course of a lifetime, people accumulate nearly 400 friends, but only one in 12 of those friendships last beyond a brief season. And of those friendships that last, about half of those are considered very close friends.

Clearly friendship is an important aspect of being human, and something that is necessary to our physical and emotional health. But being a good friend takes work.

Here are five things you can do today to be a good friend.

Be real

Friendship is based on trust, and it is difficult to trust someone who is not real and genuine. Sometimes the pressure to put on a particular face or project a specific image can be great. We want people to see the best in us. But what we want to see in other people is often the truth. Perhaps as you work on personal goals this year you can focus not on being a new you, but being the real you. Being yourself, even if that self is messy, gives other people the courage and permission to be themselves, too.

Show up

In our world of social media and screen-based communication, this one can be tricky. Showing up, whether it means being physically present or staying connected through other ways, ensures that there are opportunities for connection. It is in the connection that the relationship grows. When we show up for our friends, we are essentially saying to them that they are a priority and that we value the relationship more than other things. This message can be a powerful way to strengthen friendships.

Provide encouragement

We all need someone to cheer us on when things are hard and to celebrate us when we succeed. Be the kind of friend someone thinks to share both the good and the bad with. Let your friend know that you believe in them, and that you have their back.

Say it out loud

When your friend does something that you’re grateful for, tell them “thank you.” When they hurt your feelings, let them know in a kind and loving way. If you notice something praiseworthy or lovely about them, or if they’ve done something that made a difference in your life, share it with them. Just say it out loud. Consider how much a kind word, a compliment, or even an opportunity to say “I’m sorry” means to you, and then provide that to your friends and loved ones.

Too often today we are afraid to share what we think because we fear rejection or we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But what if opening up and talking about those things, even the hard things, is exactly what we need to take our friendships to a deeper level? Choose kindness, always. But don’t let an opportunity to pass on a compliment or fix something that is broken go by.

Create memories

Certainly this could fall under “Show up,” and you can’t make memories with a friend unless you are actually present to do so. But creating memories is about more than just showing up. Creating memories is weaving together a shared history that can be laughed over when time passes, cherished when life brings wisdom, and drawn on when things get tough. If all the little, small moments and acts of love and service between two friends make up a friendship, it is the memories that are made and remembered that provide the visual proof of that. Birthdays and holidays celebrated, adventures undertaken, silly inside jokes developed… when you weave these together, you find a tapestry of meaning and friendship that can be most fulfilling.

When we give our genuine and real selves to someone else, when we show up for people on good days and bad, provide encouragement for them, share what we are thinking with the best of intentions, and create memories together that strengthen our bonds, we live our way into a beautiful friendship. Just as Charlotte the spider taught Wilbur the pig, that in itself is a tremendous thing.